You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I deserve to be covered in dicks
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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