Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
