I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
