You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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