I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
