idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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