Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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