I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize