fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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