yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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