new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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