i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
