and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
