you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
