i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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