I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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