its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
