i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
