why didn't you poke me back
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
