he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All the doctor said was why
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
