They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
