Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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