We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
