we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
