We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
