3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
