dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
