WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
