I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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