I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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