no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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