who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I didn't notice because vodka
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
