im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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