Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
