Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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