He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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