Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
