If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
