someone threw a dead crab at me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
