Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
