The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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