You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
