My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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