We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
