we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
