Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
