Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
