Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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