in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
