It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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