Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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