ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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