the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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