it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
