Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize
