i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
