Small penises have feelings too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
