i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
